you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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