you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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