I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
