I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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