her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
