Don't you send me to vm
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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