C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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