Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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