im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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