Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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