I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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