this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
