Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
