how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
