Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
