Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
