fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
