Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
