i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
