I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
