Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
