Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
