i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
