why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
