He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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