OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
home. puking in laundry basket.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
