i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
