A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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