I need to stop coming to work sober
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
