I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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