i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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