my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
