The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I need water and some morals
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
