We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You took a bar mat shot.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
