I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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