Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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