The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
