meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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