I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
