i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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