Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you win again, gameday.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize