oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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