he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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