First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
