stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
