even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
