i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
