ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
