her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Who died my cat blue again?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
