I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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