i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
