so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
