no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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