blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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