If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize