best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
