I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Acid is not a monday night drug
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
