I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
