Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
