I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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