Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
