I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
