I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
