The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
