Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
