Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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