it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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