Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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