shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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