I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
