I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
