You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
