Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
